I recently found myself on a date for the first time in a while with someone completely random and new. I was so excited, and so nervous. And along the way I learned two important things: men love a damsel in distress, and dating is a multi-step process:
The Set Up
I was struggling with a box almost as tall as my 5’8″ self on the corner of Broadway & Houston when a man (a knight in shining armor) asked me if I needed help. “I’m trying to get a cab” I squeaked. I’d been trying for over 30 minutes and was exhausted. He nodded, hailed me a Gypsy cab, negotiated the rate, put my box in the trunk and said “i cant let you go without knowing your name and number.” I coyly smiled and on the ride home, he set up a date. Straight forward, to the point, I was hooked.
The Awkward Second Greeting
To me, the second greeting feels like the first hello. You likely met at night, or in passing, or you were so thrilled you didn’t take a full inventory of a face. This, my friends, is my fear. We chose to meet at the venue, and as I found my way to the location (because GoogleMaps is like my best girlfriend), he spotted me first and and I pretended to search for building numbers to buy myself (and my nerves) some time.
The Nervous First Words and the First Sip of Wine
We embraced in a friendly hug (what else was I supposed to do? Shake his hand?) and he stumbled over a few words. Something along the lines of “yesI’vebeenhereneveronce”. Huh? And then: “shouldwesitandeatoreatorsit?” Welp. We sat, we ordered, and after a few sips of wine we each eased into conversation. My nervousness drifted away because he was nervous enough for the both of us. And it was within this moment that I had the re-realization that dates are fun. Getting to know people is fun, regardless of what it turns into later.
The Sad Goodbye
While sharing a cozy table with my date, I willed for myself to find something about him I couldn’t live without. It was during this time, that I was trying to force chemistry, that I learned something very valuable: the moment your date starts to sound like a character in Charlie Brown, its time to go home.
I like to blame my reaction to this date on my only child status but 3 hours later, I found myself desperate for 2 things: (1) the restroom (2) some quiet time. My anxiousness to leave made me fidgety and when I told him I had to meet a girl friend (always have an out, ladies), you’d think I’d punched him in the heart.
The Follow Up
There is no better feeling that receiving a text about how great a time your date had. Despite how I felt about him, it felt great knowing I’m a fun, exciting, and beautiful date (his words, not mine… and also, duh). Along these lines, there is also the fact that as humans, we are constantly in search of closure. I know first hand (as we all do) that there is nothing more frustrating that the evaporating mate. So instead of letting his texts go unanswered, I let him know I had a great time too, but we’d be better off as friends.
How about you? Did you encounter many of the same elements on a recent date? Any important steps I’m missing? Leave a comment and let me know!