Tagged: Facebook

Public Service Announcement: Ladies Beware! Men!

I have been part of a series of texts that I feel the need to share with all the ladies out there. Thanks to my fancy iPhone 4s, I took these lovely screenshots, and then gussied them up in PowerPoint (shh) for your enjoyment.
I should probably give you the backstory. We met at my girl’s second annual Halloween party, where he professed his love within 15 minutes of us meeting. Perhaps I was entertaining the idea that I’d just found 2012′s boyfriend. Despite his constant texts calling me “sweetie”, the glitter and sparkles quickly wore off when I discovered this “single man” was actually taken. So on Saturday night, while fueled by the power of a few vodka sodas, I finally sent him a simple text back: “you calling me sweetie or your girlfriend?” See the rest for yourself:

Now, let’s dissect these texts. Please follow along with the numbers as detailed above and below:
  1. Stop sending me photos like we’re close. I don’t know you, man. 
  2. How many times can you call someone sweetie? In my messages I count over 10 times. That’s more than once a day for an entire week. 
  3. You got caught. Don’t diffuse the truth with an “lol”.
  4. Yes, I have you on Facebook. And your account isn’t private, therefore anything in is public knowledge as supplied by you. As Larissa put it: “people now-a-days don’t realize that anyone can find who you are and what you do. If you’re ballsy enough to put your business out there, then you’re ballsy enough to get called on it.” And besides, who gon’ check me, boo?
  5. Does your girlfriend really do her own thing? Does she know you’re doing yours? Girls aren’t always as “free spirited” as they say.
  6. See ya!

So be careful out there, ladies. It’s a dog eat dog world. If you need help dissecting texts or are in need of an anthem to help you forget the foolishness, you can always turn to me.

Is the Internet Ruining Our Future Relationships?

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I keep hearing these stories by my friends about the various ways in which the internet is causing strain on either a potential or current relationship. So much so that I felt the need to sit down and write about it.

I think it’s becoming an epidemic. We meet someone organically, then we learn about them in an inorganic way through Google, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever else is out there. Pick your poison, either way we’re gaining intimate knowledge too quickly.

In short, the answer is yes the internet is ruining our relationships. But, in talking with Dushane of The Post Cool about the issue, he brought up an important point:

Is it ruining relationships or saving you from future tragic discoveries? 


Perhaps he’s right. In an episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stranger sent NFL player Freddie Mitchell on what was supposed to be an enjoyable date with a southern belle and former cheerleader. The date ended in shock when she confessed she googled him and called the millionaire out for not paying child support. This is likely a subject that would have been broached in conversation when the time was right. Because she googled him, it was inappropriately brought up on their first date and signaled the demise of their budding relationship. Perhaps she avoided a future tragic discovery, but in the meantime, she also put the fire out on what could have been a fun and exciting relationship between two former athletes.

A friend of mine recently confessed that she’d gotten to googling a date just hours before they were due to meet. After searching a number of articles, she found several that mentioned his wife and children. She panicked, and cancelled the date immediately. We ran through our options quickly: “When was the article written?” I asked. She wasn’t sure. “Maybe he’s since divorced or separated…” I suggested but it was too late, the damage was done and the date stayed cancelled.

I’ve been crushing on a man at my gym recently. We flirt by the weights and I always practice my highest kicks if he’s walking by the Total Body Fitness class. I’m gonna go ahead and classify this as love at first highkick. I knew his first name and that he lived in Queens, so I took to google. After a bit of digging, I found his MySpace page. MySpace? Really? I clicked around and found a series of notes written by my gymcrush, all written in full capitals with no punctuation and spelling errors galore. Needless to say, now, when I see gymcrush I think “why do you still have a MySpace” and “did you go to college?“. Clearly, we’re going nowhere fast.

I have no clue what’s right and what’s wrong in this situation. However, I do know that if you go looking for dirt you’re bound to get dirty. While we may be saving ourselves from future tragic discoveries, we’re also forfeiting the life changing moments (both good and bad) of going through a relationship. Regardless of the outcome, you’re often changed for the better.

Now, is that really so bad? 

On Connectivity: Facebook, Twitter, & Everything In-between

My dear friend, Larissa of The Ella Project, wrote a brilliant piece on technology and how it allows us to be too connected without actually connecting. You see, we live in an age where we are all Facebook and Twitter babies. We exist behind a series of emoticons and “like” buttons; retweets and hashtags.

Personally, I’m okay with it. I hate talking on the phone unless I’m talking to my mother. Why? Because I am convinced I can NEVER hear anything you say. When I get confused I just say “okay” or laugh in hopes that you’ll think I know what you’re saying instead of having to ask “wait, WHAT?” for the 5th time. Especially living in New York City, where people are shouting expletives on the street and ambulance sirens are the normal background noise. Why go through the “one second, a police car is going by”when I could just text you a simple “see you in 5.”

This mystery gchat couldn’t have come at a better time.

Moreover, I love a good emoticon conversation. When words get in the way, there’s nothing like a quick emoticon stink eye or wink face to get straight to the point. And a hot, smoking poop instead of a civilized “no thank you.” in an email? I’ll take it.

That said, there is something so necessary about human to human contact. Larissa notes:

There is something about human contact. Something about actually hearing someone laugh rather than see an “lol”. [...] Let’s meet each other for drinks, dinner, laughter and hugs.

Wait! Lets! Because a well wishing tweet or the happiest of emoticons can never give across the same feeling as a hug. There is a reason why we say things like “I have the greatest story for you, let’s catch up over drinks or dinner.” And there is nothing like seeing those reactions in your friend’s eyes as you tell it.

So, where do you draw the line? Apparently, it’s getting blurrier as we get further in to this technologically advanced world we live in.

AM New York felt it was front page worthy to note that more and more people are getting the axe from their employer due to writing inappropriate things about their bosses or jobs online. This generation of kids growing up on twitter are learning to express themselves in 140 characters or less. When I grew up, I couldn’t leave the dinner table before talking in full paragraphs about my day and finishing all the broccoli on my plate.

There must be some middle ground. I feel lucky enough to know where to find my plateau. It starts with some cosmopolitans at Pazza Notte and my favorite girlfriends telling those great stories that we save for the reactions.

Where’s yours?