Tagged: Romance

Mine

This weekend I attended the wedding of my Martha’s Vineyard brother, Owen, and my new Martha’s Vineyard sister-in-law, Erica. I’ve been looking forward to their wedding all year, especially having grown up with Owen, and knowing what a special person Erica must be to have captured his heart.

The thing I loved most about this weekend of love (besides the lobster rolls and sea air) was the intimacy and honesty throughout. Between the love, the romance, the shared secrets, and the jubilation , I was over the moon. Here are 3 things I took away from the weekend of #OwenLovesErica.

You Are My Business
We all practice being strong and independent but at the end of the day, it’s comforting to have someone looking out for your well being. I suppose it makes me old fashioned to want to belong to someone, and want someone to belong to me. I was surrounded by these long loves on the Vineyard this weekend that served as inspiration. My mother’s friend and her husband have been married for 43 years and danced the night away like they were my age. The next day at breakfast, the husband complained of a sore back from too much dancing and his wife suggested he walked around and stretched. He joked “why don’t you mind your own business” and she replied, “you ARE my business.” What a perfect response.

Epic Wedding Bands are for Lovers
The band at this wedding was incredible. If only they’d slipped in a stank face and a singing fist, they would have been invincible. It made me realize, while having a DJ is fun, there’s nothing like a wedding band going H.A.M. on Jay-Z’s Empire State of Mind.

Vows Are Meant To Be Personal
I used to want to say the same words every other couple is prompted to say at their wedding. And then I went to Owen and Erica’s. Your relationship is personal, it’s unique and exciting, and the people at your wedding want to see that. Personal vows help us catch a glimpse of your inner workings (ahem, “Boom boom”) and helps us see why you work as a pair.

Men: The Grand Romantic Gesture is Dead

Dear Men,

I come bearing unfortunate news. The grand gesture is dead. You know the one I’m talking about – the grand romantic gesture: The one that gets you the girl, names you her knight in shining armor, and allows you to walk off into the sunset with your princess. Yeah, that one – it’s dead. And as a result, all gestures with intentions of leading to romance are failing… Womp. Here’s why:

Back in October 2011, Officer Chris Collins pulled over Evangelina Parades for speeding in Chicago. The woman was issued a $132 ticket and sent on her way. Collins, 27, then used the ticketing information he had on file to search her records, find her address, and ask her out. He left a note on the windshield of her car (which was parked outside her home) that read as follows:

“It’s Chris … that ugly bald Stickney cop who gave you that ticket. I know this may seem crazy and you’re probably right, but truth is I have not stopped thinking about you since. I don’t expect a girl as attractive as you to … even go for a guy like me, but I’m taking a shot anyways. But hey, I did cost you $132 — least I can do is buy you dinner.”

Let me just say that initially, when I heard this story I thought, how romantic! A prince who couldn’t stop thinking about a pedestrian! How Wills & Kate! Then, I started to write this post and the sentence “[he] used the ticketing information he had on file to search her records, find her address, and ask her out” gave me the creeps. I suppose despite giving his best effort at a grand and romantic gesture, this 27-year-old hopeful really just creeped out an entire nation of women. So much so that websites are polling the level of creepiness (how many times can I use the word “creep” in a paragraph?).

Needless to say, Parades is totally freaked out, so much so, that she has filed a lawsuit against the hopeless romantic law enforcement officer. The lawsuit states that the letter from Officer Collins has caused Parades to “suffer great fear and anxiety[...]” It goes on to note that the “Plaintiff could not believe that a police officer would use his access to her personal information to find her home and stalk her.” Now, I find the word stalk a bit harsh, but when you go leaving notes on people’s cars outside their homes, I guess stalk is the only thing that comes to mind.

This is an extreme case. However, it seems that women are becoming more and more jaded to romantic gestures. I go to the supermarket and even the slightest smile gets you a side eye from me. In fact, most of the people I’ve dated have come from a mutual friend or at least an acquaintance. I’ve only ended up in one long-term relationship that started from a meet-cute situation. So, is my side eye warranted  or is the movie-style meet-cute a thing of the past?

Xx, Maiah